• PriestessA

“Happy Ass, Happy you”,

Updated: Mar 6, 2020

Yesterday I attended to the “bum-tastic” event “Sex Talk”, organised by Iamsexuality in Amsterdam. It was a delight for mind, butt and spirit and inspired me to share some insights combined with my own ass wisdom.

The anus is the seat of our root chakra (in Sanskrit: muladhara). When energy flows freely in our anus we feel more connected to earth, more sense of belonging, more rooted and grounded within ourselves. It is also the centre of trust. Trust in life, trust in others, and most important trust in ourselves.

In the ass there lie answers on how we navigate life. Usually, beings who are super stressed in their lives or present anxious personalities tend to have a very tight anus and walk around with a constantly clenched anus muscle. Deep relaxation in life can be gained through a release of all the tension in our ass.

Therefore, I invite you to consciously relax your anus muscle when you exhale. Let go of any clenching, tightening, or holding your muscles. Any sort of anal play will help further, to find relaxation and release all the tension: from massage, plugs, or penetration, let it go and allow your ass to make you calmer.

The big question is, if there is so much relaxation and golden benefits for our wellbeing through release of all tensions in the anus, why is it still such a taboo to play with the anus and freely talk about it?

The three biggest obstacles that are holding many beings back from releasing and pleasuring the butt are:

  • Concerns about cleanliness

  • Fear of pain or danger

  • Homosexuality and labelling as such

Let´s talk about the taboos and lift their myths with some “bumtastic” insights.

Is anal play messy?

In short: it is not messy at all as long as you have emptied your bowels. Thus, a good shit before any anal play is highly recommended. There us also a psychological benefit to empty them; to let go of the fear and noises in the head: "what if I am dirty?". When you shit it out, you know you are clean as a fresh pipe and can easily relax into the play.

If you still feel insecure and you desire to be super clean, then you can also do an enema before the play to wash the rectum inside out and have a super super polished pipe for anal play. However, enema is not necessary to be clean, thus we recommend doing enema once in a while (no more than twice a week).

Also bear in mind that if your partner is willing to go there with you, he/she/they should be able to and probably expect some rests in there. It is not a big deal. It is just a body that works!.

Is it painful to play with the ass?

Well, it depends on how it is done.

Firstly, a cultivation of an anal self-talk is crucial to be able to enjoy your ass. Therefore, tune into your anus. Close your eyes and connect with this part of your genitals consciously. Listen to the wisdom that lies in your butt. He will tell you what he likes or not, please give your ass a speech and state its desires and boundaries. Conscious communication with our anus (and other parts of our bodies) is a golden add-on to a healthier sexual live. In any situation when you feel stressed or overwhelmed, we recommend to tune in with your anus and release.

As anal play is a very intimate play, because of all this taboos and because we are not super used, or trained in it, another crucial ingredient is to trust the giver. Ask for presence, slowness and empathy. Trust that they will be present and listen to your body as much as you do. Trust that they will go slow, so your capability of listening will be more. Trust, that you can fully surrender and let go. (More on surrender to anal fisting from a BliXXstar here.)

An anus that is played with, will gift you with lots of benefits for a higher state of wellbeing, happy ass is a happy you!

Anal play is really important specially for male bodies. The prostate is a nut that holds a lot of energy and stuck emotions, such as anger, frustration or rejection. We can only recommend to get your prostate stimulated to release all of the shit and let go of these energetic weight that with age, might get transformed into cancer.

This is the most masculine thing that you can do. There is nothing more beautiful than a man, freeing himself from all that labels and daring to open his butt up and starting to enjoy anal play.

Anal play does NOT hurt as long as you stay tuned, lubricated and in communication with your anus and your partner. Go SLOW and take your time for anal explorations to be surprised about the hidden treasure in your bottom. There is no need to push, or focus on an orgasm. The journey is the reward. Keep on breathing deeply while you explore your butt and focus on relaxing your anus muscles.

Slowness and lubrication are the two ingredients that transform “painful” anal exploration into pleasure and ecstasy.

The anus is not lubricated as the vagina so lube is essential. Recommended lubes for anal play are lubes with silicone which are ticker and last longer than the water based ones. I personally like coconut oil for my self-pleasure but oil dont work with condoms.

Extreme anal

With time and patience and of course regular training everything is possible with your ass. The butthole is super expandable and over time can take huge toys for pleasure and play. Expansion of the ass goes further than you might imagine, balls up to the size of little heads can go in there. For trained ass-perts if you take out the object fast (not recommended if you don’t consider yourself a master of your anus), then the gap stays. This is called gaping and is a form of anal play. The muscle don’t know that the object got removed so it stays open. If the receiver would clench the muscles the butthole will close.

There are actually two ways two to play with your anus:

  • to widen it and strive for big or

  • to deepen it till even the elbow is fully inside.

Yes, the entire arm till above the elbow could go inside - what an intimate encounter!. This is so deep that the hand needs to go around the last intestinal loop into the sigmoid cologne. This is a very tight area and needs lot of time and love to open it up.

Can anal play be dangerous?

As long as u go slow, wet and listen to your ass nothing can go wrong.

Don’t keep toys, plugs or other stuff too long in your anal (more than 12 hours) to give the anus time to come back to natural state.

The only thing to consider is care with the object that you insert because asses like to eat toys!. So make sure when buying plugs or other anal play toys that the end is broader than the toy itself so in the heat of the moment your anus is not swallowing the toy. In case the toy gets inside the rectum, the only way out is in emergency room with medical support. (I once lost an objet inside and had to go through this embarrassing yet fun experience myself)

However, knowing this before you buy your toy, your ass will be safe and happy.

What about an orgasm?

Anal play it is about the journey. There is no goal to reach. It is about surrendering and relaxing deep into the sensations of the play. Really indulging into being present and enjoying the flow of energy in your body.

Orgasm can happen and is welcome, but should not be forcefully tried to be achieved.

It can take some plays and time to burst in an orgasm.

Anus breath exercises

Some anus breath exercise for a happy you:

  1. Butt Starter: Inhale and clench your urinating muscle, exhale release.

  2. Butt Advanced: Inhale and pump your urinating muscle (clench it release it clench it up to 4 times on an inhale), exhale release.

  3. Butt Master: Inhale and clench it till half the breath, inhale and push it outwards (as if you were about to pee) and exhale release.

These 3 exercises are an approach for male bodies. For female embodied beings we recommend to reverse the exercises and clench on the exhale and relax on the inhale. The nature of giving birth is out and we push on an exhale the baby out of our body. In fact to practice the masculine approach can lead to heighten premenstrual syndromes.


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