Safety for Sexual Health is Super Sexy

How sexy would it be if you can trust your lovers that they will speak up and share around sexual health openly?

Maybe this ain’t your biggest turn on (yet), but for sure it is one of mine:

My latest lover and I went on a walk some weeks ago. It wasn’t clear that we will be lovers, yet one could cut the air filled with passion and attraction. As we walked along and talked about life, he stopped and took a deep breath. He started the conversation with: “it ain’t easy for me to share this with you, but it is necessary for you to know”.

My being shrug and I thought for a moment: ‘oho this ain’t go well…’

Then he started to share with me that he is infected with HPV and that he got the type that is causing genital warts. He added that he understood if this would be a reason for me not to engage intimately with him any further.

My inner being glimmered and I was filled with so much love for this being. Fuck yes, this is a very sexy start for any further intimacy and No this ain’t at all a deal breaker.

Some years ago, I got infected myself with a type of HPV. I supported my body in healing and releasing the virus, yet it changed my whole perspective around walking the bedroom talk. I got it because the person didn’t properly take care of the risk to pass it on. Thinking that: “i don’t have any warts right now, so it may be gone…” and it wasn’t. Today I see it as a gift of being infected with an STI, as I understood more the significants of this precious topic and the importance of raising awareness around honest and open STI conversations.

Unfortunately, we live in a society with a lack of information around sexual transmitted infections and their transmissions. There is little routine around STI test, however most of us are quite fluid in their sexual encounters – special thanks to Tinder and other dating apps. 🙂

Yet many behave as if they would live the life of our grandparents, with one lifetime sexual partner, don’t think about it, don’t test, and certainly don’t talk about it.

I know how scary it is, when you need to share about an STI. The fear of being abandoned is usually highly present in us.

But the truth is NO STI is a deal-breaker.

Most important is that we inform ourselves how can we safely navigate despite an STI.

So with my lover we determined our boundaries within a safer sex container, where we have least risk of transmission or in our case re-infection. This means no direct genital to genital touch, no rubbing, no penetration. It is very unlikely that HPV is transmitted via oral sex. Having these boundaries in our intimacy, invites us also to be creative and find different ways of playing and indulging into one another.

Conscious Sexuality is a new paradigm of sexuality with which we can make a significant change in society, including the education around sexual health and the cultivation of an open conversation around it.

The times of cowardice and hiding any diseases are gone… Honesty and transparency are the qualities to embody as to create real intimacy.

This goes not only for beings having an STI, but also for those who don’t. Bringing this topic on the table supports to normalise and de-stigmatize STIs.

It is on us to be the change that we want to see and to bring this collective and societal shadow into light by openly addressing it.

And because we at BliXX want to see a world where STI are on the table and beings are well-educated about them, we have established a Safer Sex for Body, Mind and Soul booklet, to share crucial information around this sensitive topic and give each of you the opportunity to educate yourself and do it differently.

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